There's something powerful about sitting across from someone who has walked through hell and come out the other side: not just surviving, but thriving. That's exactly what happened when Terry Kozlowski joined me on The Author's Mic™.

Terry is the author of Raven Transcending Fear, a certified life coach, and founder of Soul Solutions. But more than any of those titles, she's someone who has done the hard work of healing from childhood sexual trauma and abandonment. And she's turned that journey into a mission to help others do the same.

This conversation isn't just for trauma survivors, though if you are one, you need to hear this. It's for anyone who has ever felt stuck in their past, anyone who struggles to find their authentic voice, and anyone who wants to understand how to move from victim to empowered storyteller.

From Victim to "Overcoming Story"

One of the most striking things Terry said during our conversation was her refusal to be defined solely as a victim. She calls herself an "overcoming story" instead. That distinction matters.

When you're a victim, you're trapped in what happened to you. When you're an overcoming story, you acknowledge the trauma but refuse to let it be the end of your narrative. You become the author of your own life, not just a character in someone else's destructive plot.

Terry's book, Raven Transcending Fear, is what she calls a teaching memoir. It's not just her story: it's a roadmap for others who are on their own healing journey. She blends personal narrative with practical self-help guidance because she's walked through what she's teaching. She's lived it, healed from it, and emerged on the other side ready to help others do the same.

The Power of Being Present

During our conversation, Terry talked about the importance of being present: really present: in your life. When you're carrying unhealed trauma, you're often living in the past. Your body might be in the present, but your mind and emotions are stuck in those painful moments.

Healing requires you to consciously choose to be here, now. To feel what you're feeling without judgment. To acknowledge the child who was hurt while also recognizing the adult you've become: the one who has agency, choices, and the power to respond differently.

This is where perspective becomes critical. As Terry explains, gaining perspective through time and self-compassion allows you to see that while you couldn't control what happened to you as a child, you absolutely can control how you respond as an adult. You can take responsibility for your current choices without taking blame for past pain.

Owning Your Narrative

One of the most empowering things Terry shared was about reclaiming personal agency over how your story is told. This is something I'm passionate about as a publisher and advocate for indie authors: especially those from underrepresented communities. Your story is yours. Full stop.

Terry emphasizes creating boundaries around sharing trauma details. You have the right to determine who learns about your experiences and when. You don't owe anyone your pain. You don't have to perform your healing for an audience.

She states it perfectly: "Owning the right to how your story unfolds from your perspective is not about shame or blame. It is about showing your strength and empowerment."

This applies whether you're writing a memoir, sharing your journey on social media, or simply navigating conversations with family and friends. You get to decide what you share, when you share it, and with whom. That's not secrecy: that's sovereignty over your own narrative.

Three Steps to Retaking Your Power

Terry outlines three key steps to retaking power after trauma, and I want you to really sit with these:

1. Create Boundaries Around Your Story

Stop letting others dictate when and how you share your experience. You're not obligated to explain yourself to everyone who asks. Protecting your story isn't hiding: it's honoring yourself.

2. Gain Perspective Through Time and Self-Compassion

Healing doesn't happen overnight. Give yourself grace. Look back at who you were and recognize how far you've come. Practice self-compassion like you would with a dear friend who's struggling.

3. Understand That Healing Timelines Vary

Your journey is your own. Don't compare your healing to someone else's. There's no "right" amount of time to process trauma. Some wounds are deeper, some support systems are stronger, some people have more resources. Honor your own pace.

Reframing the Narratives You Tell Yourself

This is where the real work happens: in the stories you tell yourself about yourself. Terry emphasizes the importance of reframing the narratives that keep you stuck.

• Maybe you've been telling yourself you're broken. What if you're actually resilient?
• Maybe you've been saying you're damaged. What if you're actually in process?
• Maybe you've been believing you're weak. What if you're actually incredibly strong for still being here?

Moving from victim mentality to survivor consciousness requires you to challenge those internal narratives. It means recognizing that the beliefs formed in trauma aren't necessarily truths: they're coping mechanisms that once protected you but now may be limiting you.

Asking for Help Is Power, Not Weakness

Terry makes a crucial point that I need you to hear: Asking for help in your healing process is an act of empowerment, not weakness.

We live in a culture that glorifies self-sufficiency to a toxic degree. But healing from trauma isn't a solo journey. You need support. You need people who get it. You need professionals who can guide you through the process.

Whether that's therapy, coaching, support groups, or trusted friends: you don't have to do this alone. In fact, you shouldn't do it alone.

Finding your community, your people, your safe spaces: that's part of finding your authentic voice. Because your authentic voice emerges when you feel safe enough to speak.

For Authors Writing Trauma Narratives

If you're an author working on a memoir or fiction that deals with trauma, Terry's approach offers a valuable template. She demonstrates that you can write about painful experiences without retraumatizing yourself or your readers. You can teach while you tell. You can empower while you expose.

The key is doing your own healing work first. Write from a place of having processed the trauma, not from the middle of the breakdown. That doesn't mean you have to be "fully healed" (is anyone ever fully healed?), but you need enough distance and perspective to craft the narrative intentionally.

Your story can be a teaching memoir too. It can help someone else who's struggling. It can be a bridge from pain to possibility.

Finding Your Authentic Voice

Your authentic voice isn't something you create: it's something you uncover. It's been there all along, buried under trauma, shame, fear, and the expectations others placed on you.

Finding it requires:

• Doing the healing work
• Creating boundaries
• Practicing self-compassion
• Challenging limiting narratives
• Asking for help
• Being present in your life
• Owning your story

Terry Kozlowski has done this work, and she's helping others do it too. Her journey from abused, fearful child to empowered adult and life coach proves that transformation is possible. Healing is possible. Finding your voice is possible.

Listen to the Full Conversation

This interview goes so much deeper than what I could cover here. Terry shares specific practices, personal stories, and insights that could genuinely change your perspective on trauma and healing.

Watch the full episode here: https://youtu.be/Cm2jXdIYr8c 

If you're ready to do this work: whether that's healing from your past, writing your story, or supporting others on their journeys: you don't have to do it alone. That's what we're building here at Bright Headed Publishing: a community of authors and creatives who support each other through the messy, beautiful process of finding and sharing our authentic voices.

Your story matters. Your voice matters. And you have the power to reclaim both.

Connect with Me & Access More Resources

• Want to be a guest? I’m always looking for bold indie voices. Apply to be on The Author’s Mic™ here.
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• Support my books: Pick up your copies of Weight For It and You Sound White directly from the shop.
• Join the Community: Become a member of the IRS – Indie Reader Society for cozy, no-pressure book chats.
• Visit the Website: Find everything you need at brightheadedpublishing.com.

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