The Author’s Mic™: Amy Thornton Shankland on Being Happy and Solo at Church
You can attend church regularly and still feel disconnected from the people around you. Author and speaker Amy Thornton Shankland joined me to talk about that experience and her book, Happy and Solo at Church: Light Your Fire and Worship with Joy.
Amy wants to help people attend church because they want to be there. Her conversation with me covered the experience that changed her own relationship with church, how she developed the book, and the practical choices that helped her build community.
Watch the full episode:
The Experience That Started the Book
Amy shared that she was approaching her 50th birthday when she considered leaving the Catholic Church, the only church she had known.
She had been divorced and remarried, and she had not finished the process that would allow her to receive communion again. She was also tired of attending church alone, either by herself or with her two sons.
Then her priest called. He was preparing to move to another church and wanted to help her complete that process before he left.
Amy said he did not know she had been considering leaving.
They worked through it together, and on the weekend of her 50th birthday, she received communion again for the first time in decades.
That experience changed how she approached church. Later, while walking her dogs in January 2024, she found herself thinking about how much happier she had become.
Somebody should write a book to help other people who attend alone, she thought.
Then she realized she was an author. She could write it.
Turning Her Experience Into a Book
I often talk with authors who have worked through something difficult and reached a point where they want to help somebody else.
That was part of what interested me about Amy’s story. She had found something that made a difference in her life and wanted to make it available to others.
Amy described herself as an outliner. She began with pen and paper, planning how to tell her story and organize the book.
She also knew she wanted to include other people’s experiences and research. Her own story was the starting point, but she wanted readers to have more than one person to identify with.
She shared that Elk Lake Publishing published the book after she learned about the company at a writers’ conference.
Attending Solo Does Not Always Mean Being Single
Amy is happily married. Her husband does not attend church with her, but she said he supports her faith and participation.
That distinction matters to understanding the conversation. Someone may be attending alone while living in a supportive relationship.
Amy also described connecting with another woman whose husband did not attend. Both women had young boys, and sitting together became an important friendship.
Having somebody who understood the situation changed the experience of showing up.
Five Ways Amy Built a Different Experience
Amy outlined five areas that helped her move from simply attending to feeling connected.
First, she talked about strengthening her foundation through learning. Books, talks, Bible study, conversations with clergy, retreats, and other experiences gave her opportunities to grow in her faith.
Second, she encouraged finding others in similar circumstances when possible. Her friendship with another mother attending without her husband gave her companionship and understanding.
Third, she emphasized support from a spouse or partner who does not attend. In her own marriage, that support has mattered.
Fourth, she talked about maintaining friendships where she can have conversations about faith. Those friends do not all belong to her church or share the same religious background.
Finally, she described building a church family through participation—arriving early enough to talk, staying afterward, volunteering, and attending activities beyond the service.
Moving Beyond Checking the Box
Amy admitted that she used to arrive, attend the service, and leave without much interaction.
She also avoided some activities because her husband wasn’t there. Over time, she began attending on her own and enjoying them with people she now considers her church family.
We talked about how connection can change when people stop making assumptions and begin discovering what they share.
I also brought up the choir. You don’t necessarily have to be the best singer to want to participate.
Amy laughed because she had recently returned to one of her choirs after people she used to sing with invited her back.
For her, the experience had become bigger than a weekly obligation. It included friendship, participation, and taking that care into the community.
Guest Links
Website:
https://amythorntonshankland.com/
Book information and purchase options:
https://amythorntonshankland.com/book/
Facebook:
https://www.facebook.com/authoramythornton/
Instagram:
https://www.instagram.com/amyshankland/
LinkedIn:
https://www.linkedin.com/in/amy-thornton-shankland-a31734287/
Key Takeaways
People who attend church alone may be single, widowed, or attending without a spouse or partner.
Amy developed her book through outlining, personal experience, research, and other people’s stories.
Supportive relationships can exist both inside and outside a particular church.
Conversations, volunteering, and shared activities helped Amy build a church family.
Her book focuses on practical ways solo attendees can change their experience.
Publishing With Bright Headed Publishing
Amy’s conversation shows how much thought goes into developing a book around a particular reader and purpose.
Bright Headed Publishing provides hands-on publishing support for selected authors, with services that can include interior formatting, production preparation, ISBN assignment, distribution setup, and book-related materials.
We work with authors to understand the project and build the publishing support it needs. If you have a completed or nearly completed manuscript, contact Bright Headed Publishing to discuss your book.
https://brightheadedpublishing.com
Finley’s Journey Spotlight
Books can carry an author’s experience into a setting where other people can use it.
Finley’s Journey by Jeff Hepner is published under the Bright Headed Publishing imprint and is part of the Classroom Creatures Chronicles series. Connected to authentic conservation experiences, it follows a trout’s movement from the classroom toward open water.
The accompanying student workbook extends the story into activities about trout life cycles, watersheds, and river stewardship. It is an example of how our publishing and resource-development work supports a book’s educational purpose.
https://brightheadedpublishing.com/new-releases
The Author’s Mic™ — Be a Guest
If you are an author, editor, publishing professional, or creative doing meaningful work in the literary space, apply to be a guest on The Author’s Mic™:
https://brightheadedpublishing.com/be-a-guest
TrustBridge™
TrustBridge™ connects indie authors with bookstores, book clubs, podcasts, and other literary platforms through curated introductions and real relationship-building. Every author package includes a professional media kit.
For authors — TrustBridge™ Author Services:
https://brightheadedpublishing.com/trustbridgetm-author-services
For bookstores, podcasts, book clubs, and other literary partners — TrustBridge™ Partner Network:
https://brightheadedpublishing.com/partner-with-us
The Indie Author Toolkit
Practical tools and strategy for making stronger decisions throughout the author journey:
https://brightheadedpublishing.com/products/digital-product-10197841
Books From Bright Headed Publishing
Discover and support books published by Bright Headed Publishing:
https://brightheadedpublishing.com/products
Indie Reader Society™
Join a reader community created to discover and discuss books by indie authors:
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Free Guide: So You Wanna Write a Book
If you have a book idea but need help understanding where to begin, download the free guide:
https://brightheadedpublishing.com
Watch, Comment, and Stay Connected
Watch Amy’s conversation, then tell me in the comments: What helped you feel connected when you first attended a church or community group alone? Share this blog with someone who would recognize that experience, and follow Bright Headed Publishing for more conversations with authors writing from lived experience.
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